Shilly Shally
by n3th3rvlnd
Summary: shounen ai or yaoi between tezuka and fuji. Read it and Please REVIEW RR!
1. symphaty

**Disclaimers**: *shake her head crazily* No, not mine and you know who owns them ^_^ and it almost makes me crazy.

**Author's note**: I think maybe all of you don't understand what am I writing about but, I already tried to improve my grammar so please at last leave your review to tell me if there is something wrong. thanks. 

**Warnings**: yaoi or shounen ai so hehehe you know that.

Shilly-shally

Chapter one: Introduction.

------Fuji POV-----

I still felt bad for Taka-san although it happened 5 months ago.

His swallowed wrist after he took the ball from Kabaji to protect me, still fresh in my mind.

I didn't understand why I expressed my feeling so true through my eyes to look at him that time.

It even worse when he said he loved me and I almost couldn't do anything. I only smiled at him and said nothing.

I could see his blushing face and after that day, everybody knew that I'm belong to him.

Now, I understand why I felt bad on that day because "maybe" I love him so that's why I received him.

I didn't believe Eiji when he said that I will regret if I received Taka-san as the one I loved is Tezuka.

But how did Eiji know besides I don't?

_I don't want to think about it again!_ I shake my head hard.

"Fuji?" I heard him called me from behind.

"Yes?" I answered Taka-san as he walks towards me with his hand on his head.

"Em, sorry Fuji. I must go home early today so I can't accompany you to your house like usual." From his eyes I can see sadness.

"It's okay. You want to go home now?" I asked with my usual smile.

"Yes." he left after he kissed my cheek.

"Bye." I said after he runs far away.

Suddenly from behind I can feel a presence and I turned my head to know who is it.

The only expression I can see from that person is coldness like usual.

------------TBC-----------------

A/N: It's already too long for introduction right? Sorry.

BTW however you understand the fic or not, please review and give me your suggests. *smile sheepishly*

plz review!!!! I need your Review and I can't life without it!!! hehehe

Just review. 


	2. love letter?

**Disclaimers**: *shake her head crazily* No, not mine and you should know who owns them ^_^ and it almost drives me crazy.

**Author's note**: Hei minasan!!! Thanks for the review!!! Actually I don't know what should I write in the next chapter but I was so happy to receive all your review so I decide to make the next chapter now however I don't know it hehe . 

I want to write more so please review!!!

**Warnings**: yaoi or shounen ai so *hehehe* you know that.

**sTrAwbErRyfAnSz**: Thank you for your review and I appreciated it so much. hehe. You asked me before why I didn't write any fic again? Now how about this one? Do you like it? Don't worry about the pairing, of course I will pairing Fuji and .......???

**cenz**: Is it too short? emm maybe because I wrote it when I was in class. Hehe bad student ne? 

**Yami no Tenshi**: Sorry if I make mistakes but with your comments, you helped me a lot thanks!

**SIB**: Thank you. Yes Fuji has many problems after what happened in chapter 1, if you want to know what happened next, just read the story now! .......And don't forget to review.

Shilly-shally

Chapter two: Love letter?

----------Author Pov (I don't know what is it called ^_^)-------------

Tezuka was standing next to the court and he saw all the event between Fuji and Taka-san.

Fuji looked at him curiously and walked towards him. He saw Tezuka clenched his fist but his face was still like usual.

"Wanna to play a game?" Suddenly Tezuka broke the silence.

"Aa." Fuji answered with his usual smile.

They walked together to the court and without any further warnings, both of them made their position in the court and Tezuka begun to throw the ball and hit it harshly.

The ball hit Fuji's shoulder barely to make him fell down. Tezuka was shocked because he didn't know his anger would hurt Fuji to this state. He ran and knelt down beside Fuji.

Suddenly Tezuka held Fuji in his embrace while Fuji was too lumbering to react when he saw Tezuka's frightening face and he could feel Tezuka breath when Tezuka murmuring something next to his neck.

"...Tezuka it's hurt! I'm alright, Don't be like that!" Fuji pushed Tezuka away bluntly only to know the clasp became firmly.

The hug made Fuji hard to breath and he struggled more strongly but when he admit defeat and wanted to stay longer in the hug, Tezuka loosened his grip and he gazed at Fuji.

"Fuji, I...."

"Sorry Tezuka, I remember I must go to somewhere before I went home." Fuji cut Tezuka statement before he run away from the court and left his bag on the couch.

Tezuka didn't lift his face from the beginning he heard Fuji cut his statement and run away. Suddenly he rose from the court and walked to the locker quietly after gathered Fuji's bag.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fuji relized that he run without direction after he bumped into someone.

"Gomennasai." Fuji heard a familiar voice apologized to him while he rubbed his head after bumped on the wall.

"Yuuta?!" Fuji frowned after found out who owned the voice.

"Ah! Onni-can! What a coincidence! I was searching for you." Yuuta screamed right beside his onni-can.

"What the matter, Yuuta? You seem abashed." The memory being hug by Tezuka seemed disappear from Fuji and he became more curious to his brother excited.

"I...have a ...request, Onni-can..." Fuji startled to see Yuuta blushed with his hands behind his back.

"What is it?" Fuji gave him his smile to comfort Yuuta.

Suddenly Yuuta gave Fuji a neat and white envelope from behind. Fuji was puzzled for a moment but suddenly a big smile crossed his face.

"For whom, Yuuta?" Fuji asked teasingly to Yuuta. 

"Emm" Yuuta felt that Fuji seemed to read his mind and he couldn't resist anymore but gave his brother a true answer.

"Onni-can, you always hang out with HIM, so can you give him this letter?"

"HIM?" Fuji asked strangely.

"Don't teased me anymore! You knew that I mean Tezuka!! Okay, let me tell you honestly that I fell in love with him, okay. Are you satisfied?" Yuuta blushed terribly after admit his feeling for Tezuka.

"...." Fuji opened his eyes widely and quickly placed his frowned face with his usual smile and gave Yuuta a reply.

"I will help you" Suddenly this statement run out from his cherry lips without an alert. When he knew it, it was too late to pulled back the words.

Yuuta gave the letter happily to his onni-can and run away quickly before his onni-can gave him any question.

Fuji grasped the letter hardly with his fingers and he released after he found out that the letter covered with stain of tears. 

-----------TBC-------------

A/N: How was it? hehehe this idea suddenly appeared in my mind and if there was any mistake in it, don't sue me too hard I wrote this with all my efforts. Thanks for your reading and keep review!!!! For people who love Yuuta, don't get angry because something sweetly will happens in __________chapter.


	3. Two kisses

**Disclaimer: **

**  
**

This fiction was mine but too pity because the characters not mine but I will do anything to own them. Hahahahahahaha.

  


**A/N:**

**  
**

Please be nice to me because of many mistakes I made, such as grammar and my bad attitude to one of my reviewer, I wanna said sorry to him/her here. And thank you.

  


And don't blame me if u don't understand the fic because if u do, to much things to blame me and I already find out what are them. 

Chapter 3: Two kisses

Fuji walked home without his bag and we could see the pink envelope in his hand. He walked through the kitchen and didn't notice when someone stalking behind him until he turned around he saw Tezuka standing behind him and he almost fell down to the floor.

"You scare me!!" Fuji shouted after gathering all his strength but he could only see Tezuka approached to him with emotionless on his visage.

Fuji didn't realize that he moved back till he felt the brick wall behind him and when he obtained the situation, Tezuka already stood inch apart from him and placed his both hands on each side of his head. Fuji could feel his body became tense and his hands were trembling slightly.

Tezuka slowly moved his head to caught Fuji's lips with his own and he felt that Fuji was grabbing his front shirt tightly; however he didn't flinch when Fuji's nails stabbed his chest.

Fuji was in a rage when Tezuka whispered words to calm him down in their kiss. A moment later Tezuka felt that Fuji already calmed down and Tezuka could continue his kiss more aggressively.

When Tezuka parted their lips, Tezuka looked down to face Fuji, he only saw guilty washed over Fuji's face and he also could feel the guiltiness in his own heart.

After a moment he gathered all his stuffs and went out from the house, leaving the sobbing sound from inside. He knew that he shouldn't do that. It was not Fuji fault for dating Taka-san but it was rather his fault.

It all begun when both of them entered the Seigaku tennis club and when Fuji walked home together with him and when Fuji wanted him to promise:

"Ne, Tezuka, wanna have a date when we become regulars?"

The first impression he felt was alarmed but suddenly the inside heart of him shouted to him that it was only the same joke from Fuji like always. Out of sudden he felt angry and went home straight away leaving the stunned Fuji behind without turning back to see Fuji's saddened expression.

The next day, Fuji already smiling like usual to him the well know as the mocking smile of his. So all of his guesses were right, it was only a joke, a very not funny joke.

***

The next day when all the tennis team took their leave, Fuji sitting on the bench and looking the night sky with blank stare. He remembered all the things he had done with Tezuka yesterday and he could feel his heart still hurt but the feeling of guiltiness slightly bigger than the aches inside his heart.

A pair of foots were walking towards him with racquet in his hand. And when the foots stopped behind Fuji; 

"Can we play a game?"

It was the only question and Fuji already found out who was it and only one answer that escaped from his lips.

"Aa."

Fuji and Taka-san walked to their court and begun the game. After a moment Taka-san lead the game with 0-5 and it was the last shot that he gave to Fuji with his burning self that hit Fuji's wrist and made him fell towards the ground.

When Fuji tried to stand up, suddenly a pair of hands caught his elbow and when he tried to look at the person, he could only feel the person lips on his. Fuji eyes were open wide during the kiss and when the lips moved away, he could see the embarrassment on Taka-san's face.

Taka-san didn't dare to look at Fuji because he knew that Fuji will slap him but when he looked at Fuji shyly, instead of the angry face, he saw guiltiness on Fuji's face and suddenly he felt betrayed, then he hugged Fuji tightly because he felt that Fuji wanted to leave him.

"It was my first kiss, Fuji Syuusuke! Why were you placed such a face like this?!"

Taka-san felt the fire burning brightly in his heart but suddenly he could feel the wetness in the burning place. It was Fuji's tears.

"I'm sorry, Taka-san. I'm sorry." Was the only answer Fuji murmured.

"Don't say such a thing. I love you." Taka-san hugged Fuji and placed a kiss on Fuji's forehead.

***

Promise me you'll never leave me

Promise me you'll never go

Promise me that, if need be

You'll tell other no

Promise me you'll keep my heart

Locked up safe and sound

Far from arrow, thorn, or dart

Buried in the ground

***

TBC

A/N: I can't write more because the grammar mistakes thingy. I feel sad for myself. I afraid that I can't brave myself to continue this fiction again *sob sob*

yami no tenshi gomenasai


	4. decision

**Disclaimers**: Why? This world is so cruel?!! I don't want to admit it but I'm too poor if all of you charge me! If you wish for me to own them, I don't mind. Hehehe except wait till I earn my own profits. To tell you the truth I'm still 17!!! It definitely will be mine in future!!!! (baka dess!!! -_-") . I know I'm hentai!!*Sob sob*

**Author's note**: First of all I wanna say thank you to all my reviewers. I dunno if this fiction is so valuable to me and I found out when I received a lot of reviews from all of you. sTrAwbErYfAnSz, tsubasa, d-chan, and suke-san, sankyu!!!!!! Now, I don't mind if my fic sucks, as long as I still create my own worlds!! Thank you mina-san!!!

**Warnings**: Y-A-O-I! To tell you the truth I didn't know what it means at the first time but I get used to it now! Hehehe and I found out this recently that I'm a hentai writer *sob sob* my adolescent! Give it back to me!!! (-_-" baka-dess).

Shilly-shally

Chapter 4: Decision

After that accident, Taka-san sent Fuji to his own resident although it was too late, Mrs. Fuji tried to persuade Taka-san to have a cup of tea and take a seat. It seemed like it was a usual thing to do at this hour and not to mention that, she tried to hold Taka-san at the front door and chat about this morning news while Fuji walked to his own bedroom silently and left all the problems to deal for Taka-san. (Poor Taka-san).

Like usual, his bedroom was dark and Fuji seemed don't mind to turn off the light and also because he preferred this silent. He threw his bag next to the window where the cacti seemed to answer his sorrow and he lying mutely on his bed while the tears slowly moving down to his cheeks. When he moved his head towards the window, he could see the letter lying wordlessly near the cacti.

He made a move to grab the letter fiercely and put it inside the drawer. When he heard the drawer *bang* loudly, he chocked back his tears. How could he be so cruel to his own dearest brother? When the tears seemed to stop, the usual smile made back to his own place.

Once again he lying inaudibly on his bed, he thought maybe it would be better if he chose his own brother better than those freaks that turned his world into dust! Yeah freaks, what a good word to use! A moment before he felt guilty and now he felt hatred for them. What it would be for the moment later? Would he ever feel the feeling of love? Now he doubt it after all of this happened.

Would it be better if he chose Tezuka? But he knew that Taka-san wouldn't agree to leave him. And one more thing that he must confirm, he knew that Tezuka never care for him and the most important was he doubted Tezuka ever love him. Now the way Tezuka was acting must be because his ego to be the major player, did he thought that everything just like a tennis game included his feeling? He knew Tezuka too well, he knew all of that from the moment he became Seigaku's regular. The first time he being rejected by Tezuka and that he should hide all his pain with his smile. Did Tezuka ever know that to pretend a smile was really hurt like rib of your own heart?

That was true that the cold people wouldn't know what is love if it wore a name badge and hit you with a mallet. (Sorry, I borrow this line from another author).

What should he do?

"Fuji?" his mother called him behind the door. "Are you asleep? Do you know that Taka-san is really a nice person and he also a best person to chat with?….." he didn't know what his mother was muttering about while he drowned in his own world.

What should he do?

***

Today he must talked to Tezuka. It was the only way to solve this problem and he knew what he should do. He mustn't hurt both of them so it must be the perfect solution.

He met Tezuka near the Seigaku's changing room and when Tezuka arrived, he told him everything that could solve this triangle solution. Yes, it was the best way.

"Tezuka, I have to tell you something."

"Mmn, I know."

"I have broken with Taka-san. So?"

Tezuka only looked him quietly and he knew that with this silent Fuji already knew what the answer. The only thing he did is to share his conform to Fuji by hugging him and he didn't know that Fuji sobbing silently.

Fuji knew it was cruel to cheating people and the most important was to cheat the person who cared for you but he must do it if he wanted to find out whom the person he loved most although in the end he would hurt all of them include himself. While he tried to cover his sadness he didn't remember the letter still lying in the drawer with the writer feeling. Undiscovered by people. 

-Poem-

Love

Love is a thrilling state of mind

In life, we would never fail to find;

Fancy colour our natural noble fires

Adding lives to our deep desires

But so long as it lasts, it rules

And last even after it rules

All rush to come under its magic power

And wish this spell to go on for ever

TBC

Thanks mina-san but it still not the ending so please keep reading although it sucks and it isn't a forbidden thing to leave reviews. Sorry for the delay because of the exam. Next time I will work harder for the support. Thanks!!!!


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